Never have I ever been doing this terribly in school. I ALWAYS pass and do well, and study and make note cards and stupid ways of remembering stuff. ...and I PASS.
But not with micro. ohhh no. Micro is probably the supposedly easiest science that anyone has to take to get into the nursing program. Well, if it's the easiest, then how come I'm FAILING it?! I did ten times better in anatonomy & physiology and that class is the hardest for sure. I magically got an A in that one. But I can barely pass a test for micro after studying for hours and hours and hours. I just don't get it.

And then there's work. I'm seriously quitting. I've been at stupid Caribou for three dang years, and it's done nothing for me but make me realize how much I really don't like my manager. He's gained all his weight back so now he's super, SUPER cranky. I mean the guy got a HUGE butcher knife out (one big enough that you'd never think a coffee shop would have) and told the new girl to cut me if I said the word "nacho" again. WHO SAYS THAT?! Since when is a manager allowed to say that about their employee?! And then he said, "I thought I told you to shut your mouth. This isn't bitch Thursday with Lauren, so you need to shut your mouth and quit your bitching." WHO THE EFF SAYS THAT?! He said it just like my father would have said it to me... Except I love my dad, and he loves me, and Don isn't my dad. Haha.

Ahh, what a day.

This upcoming fall is going to be a crazy one. I picked up another job that starts mid-September, and it's nine hours a day, wednesday, thursday and friday doing what I love. Playing Mom :) I'm going to have Carbiou mornings mondays and tuesdays and then class for the rest of the day. Then, I'll be babysitting the most precious child on this earth, those three days (hopefully I won't have to close or open on the days I get to play mom, but with my luck, I'm sure I'll get stuck doing one or the other). Thennn, I'll have my Caribou mornings on the weekends :) Throw some homework in there and I can just forget about having a life!Haha, but I'd much rather be busy than be... well, not. Babysitting for about 26 hours a week and working at Caribou for about 24 hours a week gives me nooo life. That's 20 extra hours of work than what I normally work. Oh geeze :P

On a completely separate note, I definitely hate it when people lie to me. I can't stand it. We'll see how it goes when I have a little chat with a certain person who I thought was my friend. We'll see if she's still that when we're done.

Just when I stop appreciating something is exactly when it gets taken away.

And of course, just when you least expect it, something happens. On the worst possible day, the worst possible time, in the worst possible way. ...I never even saw it coming.

Ohhh, goodness :(
Life as I know it is about to DRASTICALLY change. And I really really liked it the way it was before. And now it's all going to change.

I don't really have time to update, but for some reason I feel the need to. Haha, I'm definitely supposed to be getting ready for work but... oh well :)

I am super happy right now. I tried to make myself happy, but that just didn't work. Friends = happiness. Now all I need is for Kara to come home! Soooooooon though! Soon! Yesterday was Thursday, my one night of social-ness. I went to work, came home did homework, went over to Maria's house, took Maria to surprise Katie with Maria, sat around and talked about being drunk, throwing up and sex (hahahah... ohhh our conversations!), went to Lauren's to watch Grey's like I do every single Thursday, AND at like, midnight picked up Katie to go get ice cream from 7-11. Ohhh, what a day! :) I am so very happy to have my friends and my life back. I've missed them <3 A LOT.

Welp, I better get off to actually get dressed and do mah hair.

Peaceeee SKUNT!

I haven't updated in a while, so why not.

Work this morning SUCKED. I have this thing where I absolutely cannot stand it when people are late, irresponsible, make me do all the work while they sit there and talk on the phone, etc. So what do you think happened this morning? THE USUAL. The supervisor was LATE, and she even told me to call her at 4:25am to make sure that she was up since she can never seem to get her butt out of bed on time. I called her 27 times. 27 times! But she never answered... Only to find out that when she showed up 20 minutes later, she left her phone at Caribou. It was just not a good morning. Not a good morning at all... but whatever to that.

School is school. It still sucks. I still don't like it. It's still really small and stupid, and it's still weird to have nuns running around. THE only thing I like about college is my chem class cuz it's hard. The rest of my classes are just so boring and stupid and there's nothing to do but read and listen. There's nothing even to write down really. I like the fact too that I only have three days of classes every other week, and then the rest of the weeks I have monday-thursday. But that's not bad at all.


BUT. after all of this crappy junk, I just found out the BEST information ever. and it makes me sooooo happy :) even though nothing is definate, it brings my mood up so so so much. ahhh.

Not too much has been going lately.
I NEVER see my parents anymore. ...it's really weird. I wake up and they're gone, spend the day doing whatever, and then I get home at night and they're already in bed. They've been working so hard on these dumb houses that they keep renting out to people. I feel really bad for them because it's my mom's summer off and she's ALWAYS at the houses working on them--cutting the grass, painting random parts of the house, calling people to set up things to be done, taking care of other random crap--it's just a lot of work to do. My dad has worked three weeks straight so far with ZERO days off, and then as soon as he's done with work, he goes over to the houses with my mom and helps her out for a few hours. ...I just feel bad for them.

Kara left for Texas on Thursday. I was really super upset when it was time to say goodbye. But we had a lot of fun this summer and I'm glad. That makes me happy. It just really sucks that she's leaving because my parents FINALLY gave me freedom to do pretty much what I want... and that includes hanging out with her. But now she's gone, so I don't even get to see her. But it's okay cuz I get to talk to her! :)
I HATE saying goodbye people. It's definately one of my least favorite things to do. And I have to do it again next saturday when Katie leaves for CMU. At least CMU is only a few hours away. Kara is DAYS in a car away.

I'm not in any way excited for school. I'm not even nervous. I get nervous for the littlest things. Stupid stuff like if I'm leaving for work at the right time; I honestly get nervous about that! I should be nervous for going to a different school. But I'm not. AT ALL. And I really really really don't like that. I'm not even looking forward to taking a bunch of classes that I actually like. And I'm a nerd, so I SHOULD be looking forward to that, but I'm just not.

I found out some stuff about my brother last night when I was driving him to Caroline's house so he could spend the night over there. Yeah... my parents let him spend the night at some girl's house. He's 16! I'm 18 and there's NO WAY that they would ever let me spend the night over some guy's house. They don't even feel comfortable with Mat, who likes GUYS, spends the night over Katie's house and I'm spending the night over there with them. But anyway, he decided to confess the things that he does. And I was so... shocked that he would do that. It even involves my 30 year old sister. MY SISTER! she's an ADULT. she should NOT be involved with the things that my brother does. I wish that he wouldn't have told me that because now I'm going to be super paranoid about it and I'm going to worry about everything until I KNOW it doesn't happen anymore.

...But I don't know what to do. Tell my parents? Talk to my sister? He has WAY too much crap on me for me to just go tell my parents. I told Katie about it and she made me feel guilty if I end up not saying anything and something happens to him. I would DIE if anything happened to my little brother. He's my little brother and I don't want to see him end up going down the wrong road. As strict as my parents were with me, they definately are NOT that way with him. They're really dumb. It's so incredibily easy to get away with things it's not even that fun doing something that I'm not supposed to. That's kind of sad, but it's true! haha... I'm such a rebel; I know ;) ahh hah! JUST KIDDING!
I hope he's okay... :(
And I really miss Kara.
I went to Target today and spent $25 on MORE school supplies, stuff in the dollar section, more purple nail polish and stuff for other people. That little splurge was because no one was there to pull me away and stop me. I JUST spend a lottt at Target like... a week ago on a TONNNNN of school supplies, and I do not need anymore. I almost bought two planners because I couldn't pick one over the other. So I did what anyone would do... I called my mom and texted Kara. They both said that I should get the same one so I got it. I bought three more purple folder things for .96 cents because they were so cute! I already have like twenty folders. ahh my new rule is that I can't go into target alone.

okay I'm done rambling now :)

I'm just so annoyed. SO annoyed that I feel the need to sit here and complain about it because my mom isn't listening because she can't hear what I'm saying! My two favorite people in the whole wide world are here. Uncle Tom and precious little, genious boy Corey. Oh how exciting. Normally, I get along with people, especially my family. But those two are just so abnormal and so... different than me that I just can't take it. They've only been here since yesterday, and I really just want to shoot myself and get it over with. They pick on you, make you feel stupid because you don't know how to program a "game" that's about stocks or something on Uncle Tom's laptop. SORRY. I guess EVEYRONE knows how to program those... I guess I'm just a big fat idiot because I can't fricken make a program, and I'm not OBSESSED with programming. I don't sit around and read books and teach myself how to do that. I don't bring things with me to show off to my family to rub it in their faces how much better I am than they are.

If Corey keeps on being like this, he's going to be a walking diaster. He's going to be one of those nasty nasty kids who sits around and builds rocket ships, keeps pens in his shirt pocket, and reads books that are just full of JUNK like how to program a stock game and play it. Oh yeah, did I mention he's only NINE YEARS OLD?! YUP. nine. a nine year old with the reading level of a college kid.

Ah. and then there's cedar point crap. Okay, okay, cedar point is great and all, but there's NO WAY I'm going with my over-controlling dad, my cheap mother, my annoying brother and his little friend, and of course Corey and dear old Uncle Tom. I'm just not doing it. It's going to be 98 degrees tomorrow, which is WAY too hot for any park except for the water park, and all 8 of us crammed into a van is just retarded and I'm not doing it.

Instead, I can have a day where just IIII can use the car, ALLL to myself. I can hang out with Kara for as long as I want and I CAN'T get in trouble for it. It's going to be wonderful, and I cannot wait :) ahh I'm so excited to have a day without any annoying parents, little genious cousin, mean uncle Tom who picks on me endlessly, and no annoying brother wasting gas. CAN'T WAIT.


woooh, I feel SO much better now :)

I hate the name of this dumb thing...
but anyway, I got an email about stupid XANGA.
does anyone remember poor xanga? well, I went back and read like three of my entries and after the third one, I just couldn't read anymore of them. SERIOUSLY. I said the words "w00t," "tehehe," "lol," and "drama" wayy too many times. Gosh--how did anyone ever talk to me? NO JOKE! ... I got annoyed at myself. haaa...

anyway.
Speaking of DRAMA. haha just kidding. :)


I REALLLY need a date for prom. I'm not even kidding; it's stressing me out! I'm for real worried... :(

I cried today before school started because katie made a joke about me going to Madonna and taking kinda sorta blow off classes this year and not hard ones like AP English or Zoology. Katie said: Well, some of us actually want to get into a GOOD college. AND IT ACTUALLY MADE ME CRY! ... I never cry. Well, I do--just not in front of people! I just can't do it. ...it's weird. But katie was just kidding, but for some reason I started crying anyway.

I want to go away for school; I really do. But I'd miss alex and majjj SOO much if I left for school. And even my parents. As much as they bug me, we usually get along pretty well. I guess it's my fault for not doing better my first two years of high school, but I tried at least. Most people who do badly don't try, but I at least tried. I just couldn't remember ANYTHING or do well on anything that I did.


ahh oh well. I'm lucky to get to go to a good school, with a wonderful nursing program that'll hopefully make me the best nursie EVER! :D

way too much stuff to do tonight to be doing this, but for some reason I'm going to do it anyway.

Yesterday I got a text from christine asking me if I would mind driving her around to a few places so she could apply for jobs. The first thing that came to my mind was if my mom finds out, she's going to be mad. But I thought that since she's trying to get back on her feet, she deserves a little help. Anddd I'm not going to get much of a chance to hang out with her this summer like we always do. ... So I said yes.

TODAY the second I get home my mom asks me where I went yesterday. And she tries to see if I'd lie to her. I go: I went to go get gas... WHICH I DID.
and she goes: so you didn't drive Christine around to job interviews?! and I go: noo mom. I went to hang out with her and we went job searching... I want another job too, so why not? She gets all mad at me for asking her to get me a pair of tights yesterday for the comm. perforance and not getting them my self because I was helping a "LOSER" get back on her feet--how dare I try to help someone. GOSH. even though I'm going to be a nurse, I must NEVER EVER try to help someone EVER again. How could I be so selfish to ask her for a pair of tights after helping out a friend? not just ANY friend though--Christine and I go WAYYY back. I've been friends with her the longest, so why not? THEN yesterday I asked her if dinner was going to be ready in time for me to get to guard on time and if not, I can grab something if I leave right now. ... she starts yelling at me for not starting dinner while I was doing my homework before she even got home from work. HOW COULD I? DO MY HOMEWORK?
...

So now she's all mad at me and it's really bothering me. She doesn't want to talk about anything; she doesn't want to try to work things out or even see things from my perspective. it's not even like I drove around on her gas--it's MY money that I spent on the gas... so I can pretty much go where I want since I paid for it.



It's just really frustrating--Thinking that I'm doing a friend a favor and it completely kicks me in the butt. Whateverr....





I have to go finish up my scholarship now. I'm dead tired and I have to make it down to at least 600 words [it's supposed to be 500 words] which I think is harder than writing anything in the first place... and it's on something that I'm not too fond of talking about and I don't like it when people read it because I just... don't. I dunno.

Hammie told me I looked pretty today and I actually smiled/performed for once during practice today... well at least I think I did. :)






OH YEAH! I neeeeed a date for prom. Tickets go on sale next week and I NEED a date. Just throwing that out there :)



... Will you go to prom with me? :D

are there so many rugs in this house?


it's really kind of annoying. my house isn't that big and im sitting here in the living room, and there's TWO RUGS that i can see just from sitting here.

... why are there so many rugs?

ah!




besides the rugs, I'm super excited for A guard this year. No, like I'm really excited.
and I don't know why. :)

-ALSO-
There seems to be a lot of DRAMATIC people that are around me lately.
and I'm not sure why...
Sometimes people are like too wrapped up in their own lives to care about anyone's else, and it's kind of not good.
Sooo... I wish that they would stop it.
and NOT EVER LIE about stuff.

So, don't lie about things and care about other people.

PLEASE.




I am so freaking sore. OW.

So tonight was the banquet.
it was so much fun! :D
i saw Tom there! i got my picture taken with him... haha it was kinda awkward but whatever.

and I got to hang out with MARIA! after a lame stupid practice. she did my hair because she's pretty much AMAZING at doing hair. haha, mr. krutty said it was the best curly hair that he's ever seen. :]


okay I'm really tired and I'm putting a bunch of pictures on facebook now. yayy.

So nationals was pretty much AMAZINGGGG! :D:D:D I'd say that I'm sad that it's over with... but I'm not. I've been waiting for it to be done since I joined. I get a life now. YAYYY! I got to see Maria, Lacra and Mat this weekend and that pretty much made my day. I got to go shopping with everyone and I bought lucky shorts that are adorable from charlotte russe.
Winter Guard is starting up in like a week, and I'm planning on doing HOSA this year. I'm just really really excited.

OOH. and I heard back from Madonna. They said that I need to take some classes or something and then I can get into the pre-nursing something or other program there.
so that makes me happy! I get to go to school!



Thanksgiving is on thursday and my family is coming up, and even though I'm not crazy about them, their kid is adorable! I only have TWO days of school this week...
ANDDDD I get to go to work and make some moneyyyyyyyyyyyy on wednesday! For some strange reason I've been missing work so much. I've been craving coffee like crazy and eating Anna's caribou bars -- it's CRAZY!


It was such an amazing weekend. I even got back massages which are of course my favorite thing ever.



:D




[Here's my band fag side of me that doesn't really exsist, but it is right now just because I think it's funny].

But then once I watched some of Avon's show from the endzone in prelims and saw how BAD their lines were and their drill and everything, and then found out they got the Brubaker award, I STARTED CRYING. and I tried so hard not to like... GLARE at them because they were standing right there and they looked weird just standing there, right next to us.

Me, Robin, actually cried over another band beating us. I knew I was going to because I knew that we weren't going to get it. UGH. it's so frustrating. But I'm glad it's not by .15 this year like it was last year. I would feel so bad for everyone whose doing it next year to have to hear .01 or something horrible like that.



Ah. no more band. EVER. :]
well, except for on tuesday and then next tuesday and then variety is. but that doesn't count.

So today was the first day of camp. =/
it's so lame. for real.

but it's okay because i love doing stuff like talking when you're not supposed to. haha. it just makes it even more fun to do it because you have to sneak it and use codes even though you're not supposed to. it makes me want to talk more; im not even kidding. :]


im really really sad that maria, kara, laura and mat are all leaving.
im gonna miss maria especially because she lives just down the street, and it's not going to be the same at all. she sat by me in fourth hour, and we whined about fatty together. she's always been just down the street whenever i was bored and wanted to do something but now i cant do it anymore because she's moving TWO AND A HALF HOURS AWAY! that's like ... way too far for my liking.
at least kara and mat will be only 25 minutes or so, so i can still see them but im gonna miss them both for sure still.

i wish summer wasn't pretty much over; it feels like all the fun just started last week and now there's no more...




im gonna cry on thursday for sure. and then when the 26th for kara and mat, and then the 29th for laura, ill for sure cry for them too. just like i did for the senior basics block and graduation. :'(

i stuck my wet hand to the freezer door and it got stuck on it :]


heehee. im such a dork. who does that?
... it kinda hurt but i was laughing.

i hate it when im sick. :(
who goes to the doctors three times in five days?

i dont know either.

you know, my mood has never really changed that fast before.





im sick of doing this. i went from being JOLLY HAPPY to wanting to cry like I did two weeks ago.




nope. im NOT DOING IT.

So I went camping this weekend with Kara and ate lots of ice cream and it was really FUN!

:D there were random hill billies sitting ALL over the place, but not really. ...it was fun and VERYYY much so relaxingg :D we slept in until forever and then some more, and then on the way home too. HMM.. it was SUPER FUN. and we got lost in the woods too.


So I really want my license. And my mom wont sign me up for the stupid class so I can take the class and go and get it, so then i can be chirpy and ... probably not drive around.
And parentals want me to go and get a job though. because I have to pay for EVERYTHINGGGG... ewww.



So in the car, after my dad made me drive up to Plymouth to talk him into letting me go camping this weekend after my parents gave me only like.. a week ahead of time, afterwards my dad started telling me a story about how there was a "reason" that his guardian angel pushed him out of his chair and told him to go into my little room where I was wrapped up in my blanket and i suppose I would have died because there wasnt any way of me getting out of it since I was only like.. a year old. and he told me that there was a "reason" that it pushed him out of the chair. (because I was complaining about how he shouldnt be doing the things that he's doing and saying and all.) .. and it just makes me think. Hmm... I've been doing a LOT of that lately. :O. oooops.



I got to hang out with Christine and Stephy and Jordan today after Subway with Kara for Kahlab dayyy. It was funnny! we watched High school musicall. :D ahahah and then my tummy started making random noises and i decided that id share this fact with the world at the Benjamin household/random friends over there. .. i miss Christine. Dude, I'm so excited for summer with everyoneee... hmm it's gonna be REALLY SWEET :D

..my poool opens on saturday and im not gonna be here. :[ poopppppi.


oh yeah. ive been RaNdOmLy leaving 'friends only' little LJ entries, so if ya wanna read the very interesting life of Robin, you should leave me a comment or somethingg! :D k, byeee!

I have a really sweeet birdii... and i named him duckii.

It's much better than what my mom wanted to name him.

Today was a pretty sucky day... It's all rainy and icki outside and cold, but absolutely stupidly HOT inside salem. And then Brooke stole my hoodie that smells REALLY YUMMY because it was outside by the fire. But she took mine and gave me hers because hers annoyed her. And then I didnt get it back. ]: And the laundry stuff that she uses smells weird, because they're like OCD in the house and they wash stuff a lot and have SUPER clean stuff.


... And then someone who i was concerned about was RUDE to me after school today. So that was pretyt not fun.

And now stuff is just obnoxiously STUPID. like people for instance. In the band room. OOH.. speaking of drama. HAHA. People REALLY need to make up their minds. Because they're being REALLY retarded over something that's REALLY STUPID. And they should be feel bad too for being the way that they're acting. Because I think it's really dumb... not to mention mean. :D.

... and maybe it needs to SMELL LESS DISGUSTING in there too. Has anyone actually noticed the smell in there? Because it's very nasty. ::shudders::




So anyways. There's my little day. woot.

I just got back from chicago last night, and it was FUNNN! There was a bunch of random people running around... including my mom. Because she didnt want to miss the train, so she "ran." And I was so busy laughing that I slowed her down... :D



AHHAAHAHA.. today was a funn day!

...I got my hair cut over break and it was SORTA pretty...
but now it's UGLY and I dont like it ONE BIT.


my brother is a REALLY funny kid. And.. yeah, i ♥ him.

A couple of nights ago, I had a dream about being RAPED. it was scaryyyy... ::shudders:: And I didnt like it. And it was by my old house. and it was FrEaKy.



I went to the aquarium in Chicago and saw a lot of fishh! :] and sharks and lizards and whales and dolphins:D:D:D... and it was EXCITING.
ahh Im really boring today. BUT something that was interesting was the part when ...




I read a book :D Weeeeee... for being hyper! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3